Jennette McCurdy opened up about her final conversation with her late mother, Debra McCurdy, on the latest episode of Red Table Talk. The former iCarly star tearfully recalled her last conversation with her mother.
Jennette McCurdy isn’t finished revealing her secrets.
On the season premiere of “Red Table Talk” on Facebook Watch, which aired Wednesday, June 20, actress and former Nickelodeon star Breanna Yde (who launched her debut book “I’m Glad My Mom Died”) revealed more information about her difficult childhood with her mother Debbie McCurdy (who assaulted her as a youngster in the book), which she detailed in her memoir.
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After McCurdy became involved in a romantic relationship, her mother allegedly sent her a verbally abusive email.
McCurdy also spoke about the final conversation she had with her mother before she passed away from breast cancer in 2013, as well as the long-lasting effects their eating disorders had on their bond.
Jennette McCurdy recalls her mother calling her a ‘slut’ in an email after she ran away to Hawaii with her boyfriend.
“After somebody took paparazzi pictures of us, my mom found them,” McCurdy explained. “The relationship had been a secret from her. I understand why she was disapproving. There was a significant age difference, but I don’t respect how she handled it.”
Jennette then read one of these “disapproving” emails to hosts Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith, and Adrienne Banfield-Norris.
“Dear (Jennette), I am so disappointed in you. You used to be my perfect little angel, but now you are nothing more than a little –all caps– slut, a floozy, all used up. And to think you wasted it on that hideous ogre of a man,’ ” McCurdy read. “Add that to the list of things you are: liar, conniving, evil.”
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She continued: “‘I raised you better than this. What happened to my good little girl? Where did she go, and who is this monster that has replaced her? … I told your brothers about you, and they all said they disown you just like I do. We want nothing to do with you.’ ”
On Facebook Watch, Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith, and Adrienne Banfield-Norris appear with Jennette McCurdy on the season premiere of “Red Table Talk.” In August, the former Nickelodeon actress published her debut book “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” which included more information about her difficult childhood with her mother.
McCurdy was a victim of ‘narcissistic abuse.’
McCurdy mother had a rocky relationship with her. Sometimes, she desired her approval and validation so much that people-pleasing became instinctual, and she inadvertently surrendered control of her diaries, schedules, relationships, finances, and even body during shower checks.
After going to therapy, McCurdy said she learned to reframe her life and accept that her mother’s actions weren’t loving: they were exploitation and “narcissistic abuse.”
McCurdy was under a lot of pressure to find forgiveness and to explain why she had done what she did. But, in the end, she came to understand that there are many people with mental health difficulties who take responsibility for their actions and devote a great deal of time and effort into improving their lives and connections with others.
During her guest spot on “Red Table Talk,” McCurdy recalled her last conversation with her mother, which she called a “non-conversation.”
“Her cancer had spread to her brain. She was in a hospice bed that was set up in our living room, and she was really just detached behind the eyes,” McCurdy remembered. “This thing happens when people are on their deathbed, or this was at least my experience, where everybody tries to say something to the person who’s dying, like it’s an attempt to get them to wake up.
“My brothers had each given their good news of their lives. One of them was getting married; one of them was moving back to California. And then I said, ‘Mommy, I’m so skinny right now.’ The thing that I felt like was the most that I had to offer was my thinness.”
In “I’m Glad My Mother Died,” McCurdy attests to being influenced by her mother’s teachings on “calorie restriction” at a young age, which evolved into anorexia and then escalated into binge eating and vomiting. Part of it was an attempt by McCurdy to keep her already tiny frame. But mostly, it was a desperate bid to connect with and impress her mother, who she referred to as someone who also had disordered eating.
“And I really, really, in my core at that time, I believed that would get my mother to wake up,” McCurdy told her mother she weighed “89 pounds” at the time. “I believe that she cared more about my body and my weight than she did about anything else that could possibly be uttered by my brothers’ mouths.”
When asked if she envisions herself becoming a mother someday, McCurdy said that while she would be open to the possibility of having children, it is not something she is in a hurry to do.
“I would never want to have a child for my own identity.” “That’s a very, very concrete one for me,” “I’m in a place where I don’t feel like I want kids. I have two nieces that I adore and a third on the way. I’m really happy to be an aunt. ” McCurdy told.